If I Cannot Fly
by Novacaine Child
Summary: Johanna is sick of being stuck with Turpin, and a funeral offers her an escape. She hopes to find Mrs. Lovett... well, she's a real lady. Femmeslash! JohannaXLovett! My first Fanfiction, so please R&R, let me know if it's any good. COMPLETE!
1. Johanna's Dreaming

**Johanna is stuck in the vile Judge Turpin's house, and dreams of an escape. Staring out of her window all day, singing and sewing isn't really her idea of fun… That is, until she spots Mrs. Lovett…**

**But that boy who hangs around outside her window… Why does he stare so? He makes Johanna nervous. She wishes he would stop.**

**When Beadle Bamford is murdered, and the man who did it is hung (Sorry, Sweeney worshippers!) Johanna is allowed to go to the funeral to pay her last respects. Could this be her chance to escape??**

**Please read and review, and let me know if this is worth continuing. I promise you graphic femmeslash if I get good reviews! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sweeney Todd or any other characters. (Ooh, such good times we'd have if I did! Mrs. Lovett would be living in a giant hamster cage in my bedroom, instead of mooning over Mr T all the time... No, it isn't cruel; I'd take her out to play with her, EVERY day.) I do however own the two disk special edition DVD (given to me by Twitch, a.k.a. Mr T. Love you honey!) and the book. And the full soundtrack. And a poster. Some call be obsessed and I must admit, I agree. The lyrics are From Greenfinch and Linnet Bird, Mr Sondheim owns them, I don't. Okay, now you can't sue me. At least not for using these characters and lyrics. **

Johanna stared out of the window as she combed her long blond hair. It was another bright, pretty day in London, and she longed fiercely to be outside. For as long as she could remember, she had been inside the house, permitted to wander from room to room, read, sew, but never leave. She watched the others come and go, Turpin and the Beadle, and wondered what they did, what they saw. Her most common pastime was to fantasise about what the world looked like beyond the narrow stretch of road that her window looked out upon, and picture herself there. She had read a great many books in her time, of marketplaces and shows in beautiful theatres, and she imagined herself dressing up and leaving the house to see a play or to wander aimlessly in the town, taking in the sights.

Turpin didn't allow her to leave the house, and she wasn't quite sure why. Perhaps he was just being protective of her, she thought dully. Or perhaps he wanted her all to himself. Certain things he'd been saying to her and ways he'd been acting around her recently seemed to suggest this. He'd been talking about what a fine young woman she was growing into, looking at her appraisingly… Johanna shuddered. She dreaded to think what the man was thinking about her. But it seemed that his intentions were not to be her father forever. She sighed sadly and lay down the comb on her dressing table, wondering what to do that day. Well. She could read, stories of people who weren't locked away in damask, dark cages such as hers. She could sew; she had that embroidery of the linnet birds to finish… Neither of these ideas particularly appealed to her, but she picked up the sewing, and sat in the window seat, looking out onto the world passing her by. She threaded the needle and began to sew in the detail in the birds' feathers. And as she did, she sang.

_Greenfinch and Linnet bird, nightingale, blackbird,_

_How is it you sing?_

_How can you jubilate sitting in cages,_

_Never taking wing?_

_Outside the sky waits, beckoning, beckoning,_

_Just beyond the bars_

_How can you remain staring at the rain,_

_Maddened by the stars?_

_How is it you sing anything? _

_How is it you sing?_

She looked up from her sewing briefly to contemplate the pretty bird in the cage opposite her, fluttering about and twittering. A tear slid down her pale cheek, and she brushed it away sadly, turning to look out of the window again. She could have drawn that street from memory exactly, she looked at it so often. Her gaze swept over the usual people going about their lives; The fine gentleman in his carriage who passed this time every morning; The mother and daughter, dressed elegantly, on their way to somewhere she would never go, chatting excitedly… She frowned slightly as she saw another person through her window. A boy. She hadn't ever seen him around before, and she shifted closer to the window to look. He was young, perhaps only a little older than she. His blond hair hung to his shoulders in waves, and he wore crumpled clothing. He carried a brown bag over his shoulder, which seemed to hold most of his belongings. He appeared to be reading a map. She studied him intensely, wondering what a scruffy boy like him was doing on her road- Only the upper class tended to walk here, if they knew what was good for them. He must have felt her looking, because he looked upwards, and smiled when he saw her gazing at him with such intensity. His eyes met hers, and he seemed to become mesmerised. Johanna sighed impatiently, and shot the boy a small stab of a smile. He wasn't the kind of man she would particularly want to associate with. Still, he gazed at her like a love struck fool. Johanna turned away from the window, hearing her adopted father lifting the picture from the peephole he had drilled into her wall. How could he think she didn't know about it? When she spent as much time in that room as she did, she knew right away when something was different. As though she wouldn't notice a hole in the wall! She closed her eyes in frustration at her lack of privacy, and went on singing, in a high clear voice, sounding like the birds she sang of.

_My cage is many rooms, damask and dark_

_Nothing there sings, not even my lark,_

_Larks never will, you know, when they're captive_

_Teach me to be more adaptive, ahhhh,_

_Greenfinch and linnet bid, Nightingale, Blackbird,_

_Teach me how to sing,_

_If I cannot fly… Let me sing_

The boy was still looking at her. She smiled again, holding her manors. She wished he would quit staring so, though, it made her uncomfortable. Laying down her sewing, she stood up, and quickly left the room, half expecting to see Turpin outside her wall still, spying on her. But he was nowhere to be seen.

***

Mrs. Lovett pulled on her coat and straightened her hat. She turned to observe her reflection in the mirror, sighed and, muttured, "You'll do."

Mr Todd stood by the front door of the shop, impatient to leave. She watched him as she smoothed her dress and brushed off the worst of the flour. His eyes were dark and empty, and he stood still and upright. Her heard gave a thump as she stared, and she bit her lip as she watched his brow furrow in irritation. She hurried towards the door, and opened it for him. They were going to St. Dustan's market, to see Pirelli and get Mr. T some recognition as the best barber in London. Mrs. Lovett was hoping that once the judge had been lured up to the parlour and killed, he might forget Lucy and pay a little attention to her. But it was clear that Sweeney had nothing on his mind other than the task that lay ahead. Mrs. Lovett pulled his coat around him, and stepped back, nodding.

"Okay love, let's go."

They left the pie shop.

***

Johanna was at the window again, with a book this time. She stared at the page, but the letters blurred and danced as her eyes spilled over with tears. She closed the book forcefully and brought her hands up to her eyes to wipe the tears away, glancing out of the window as she did so.

The boy was there again, looking at her from behind a pillar. It was really giving her goose bumps, she realised. Creepy. She hoped he would leave soon. He saw her watching him, and smiled broadly, before shyly turning and walking briskly away. Thank Goodness, she found herself thinking. She turned to look at the clock hanging on her wall. Half past eleven, it read. She smiled, and turned back towards the window, waiting, waiting…

There she was! The woman that passed her window this time every Tuesday! Mrs. Lovett, if she wasn't mistaken. She had heard her adopted father talk of her on occasion, and she found herself strangely fascinated by her. She stared at her, an indecipherable look clouding her eyes. Longing?

"She's so pretty…" Whispered Johanna, before realising what she was saying. Mrs. Lovett was a woman! It was not acceptable to have a crush on her, not at all. Although, if the books she had found in her father's library were anything to go by…

Johanna bit her lip and looked back out of the window. She was with a man, a tall, dark haired man. He was peculiar, she thought. Black, black eyes, and hair, except for one white streak, and grey and black clothes. He looked as though all the colour had been sucked out of him. She was repelled by him but also strangely drawn towards him. Who was this mysterious stranger? She shifted her attention back to Mrs. Lovett, admiring her red curls, her womanly figure, her deep, knowing eyes… She sighed wistfully, and gazed after the woman until she disappeared from her sight.

***

Mr Todd stepped down from the platform, smirking contentedly. He'd shown that Pirelli guy how to barber properly. With all his overblown airs and graces, he was nothing more than a poser, a loser. Mrs. Lovett smiled proudly and stepped towards him, wrapping his coat around him once again.

"Well done, love!" She praised him enthusiastically, but Sweeney looked right over her shoulder, ignoring her voice. The beadle was walking towards him.

"I thank you, sir. You are a paramount of integrity," Said Sweeney, biting back his rage. This man had had a part in the rape and suicide of his beloved Lucy, and he would love nothing more than to wrap his hands around the man's throat… Instead, he forced himself to smile gratefully at the man who had judged the competition between himself and the Italian barber.

"I try to do my best for my friends and neighbours," replied the beadle in his whiny voice. A spasm of hatred passed over Sweeney's face, but he forced it back into a blank mask.

"I'd like to thank you properly, Beadle Bamford… Why don't you come to my parlour this afternoon?" The Beadle considered the offer, while Sweeney's nostrils flared in irritation and contempt for this slimy man. Mrs. Lovett gripped his arm warningly.

"Yes, Mr Todd, I think I will," replied the beadle, smirking. Sweeney smiled faux-courteously after the beadle as he left the marketplace.

"Come on, love," coaxed Mrs. Lovett, pulling back in the direction of the shop.

***

Sweeney was waiting in the parlour, running his thumb over the engraving on his favourite of the chased silver razors. Mrs. Lovett watched him nervously. He turned, and rounded on her.

"Why doesn't the Beadle come?! I told him this afternoon!" She twisted an old tea towel around her fingers, and said "He's not late, love. It's just gone four." He threw a razor at the wall, scowling, and walked towards the window, just in time to see the beadle approaching the stairs.

"He's here! Get out!" Sweeney hissed at Ms. Lovett. She jumped, and turned, leaving the room. The little bell on the door tinkled as it clicked closed. It sounded again a few seconds later as the door was swung open.

"Good afternoon, Beadle Bamford." Sweeney bared his teeth in an unconvincing grin.

"Mr. Todd." Bamford wasted no time in untying his cravat and seating himself in the old chair Mrs. Lovett had given him. Mr Todd strode over to him. He could have carried it out, he could have made a show of mixing the lather and smothering it over the beadle's smug little face, but he wanted him dead. Now.

He walked around to face the beadle, and leaned over him, holding the razor in his hand. The man looked up at him with confusion in his eyes. He shifted uncomfortably.

"Mr. Todd?"

"Call me Barker. Benjamin Barker." Mr Todd glared openly at the beadle, and watched, disgusted, as realisation dawned on his face. Fear flickered in his eyes, as Todd held up the razor and thrust it, once, twice, three times into the Beadle's neck.

Guttering sounds came from Bamford's throat as he gasped and spluttered, blood filling his mouth. His eyes rolled back in his head, so Sweeney could only see the whites. Sweeney walked around to stand at the side of the man, and drew the razor sharply across his neck, so that blood spilled out over his shirt. The Beadle's whole body gave a spasm, and he spluttered once more before lying still. Sweeney stepped back and surveyed his work, just as the door opened again. He grinned as he turned to face the door, expecting to see Mrs. Lovett. But the smile was wiped from his face rapidly as he saw Turpin standing in the doorway, taking in the scene, shock stamped over his face.

***

Sweeney Todd had hung this morning. Johanna was frankly sick of hearing about it. How the heroic Judge Turpin had burst into the room looking for the beadle only to be confronted by the goriest of scenes. His brave citizens arrest. How he pinned Mr Todd's arms behind his back and kicked his legs from under him, kept kicking him on the floor until he fell unconscious. Sure there was no defence for murder, but Johanna couldn't help but feel sorry for Sweeney, and immensely grateful to him for getting rid of the beadle, who always seemed to be undressing her with his eyes. And she was rather disgusted by her father's actions. Shouldn't only moderate force be used during a citizen's arrest? That's what it said in all of his law books. But she supposed, he was a well respected member of the community. Sweeney Todd was a nobody who had murdered the Beadle.

The Beadle's funeral would be held the next day, she was told. She would be going, out of respect, and she was immensely excited. She was allowed out of the house, if only to church. The entire town would be there,- no one would want to seem on Mr Todd's side.

Maybe Mrs. Lovett would even be there. Johanna's stomach twisted pleasantly and she hummed joyfully to herself as she looked for a sombre dress to wear tomorrow. This had worked out very well indeed.

**Okay, so that's the first chapter darlings! R&R please, let me know what you think and if I get good feedback I'll write more ******** (If you'll recall, I promised you femmeslash, and you shall have it darlings, but you must R&R!)**

**I love each and every one of you; you are all fabby. Well done for making it this far.**


	2. Turpin's Proposal

**I'm back darlings! Bet you didn't expect me so soon, but I've had some gorgeous reviews ALREADY, and you can't imagine how happy that makes me!! This is my first published Fanfic, so I really am grateful. Special thanks and extra love to XrazorxpiesX, grapenut01, and BeBopALula for their lovely reviews and constructive criticism! I'm dedicating this chapter to you. ******** Also, it's been mentioned that I'm not staying in the mindset of the characters. I am very sorry about this; it's a hard story to make work, so I will try harder to keep Johanna Johanna and so on, if you'll forgive me the odd out-of-character thought now and then. Oh, and as always darlings, please, please R&R, let me know what you think and reassure me that I'm not wasting my time writing utter rubbish that nobody reads! You will be rewarded with hot femmeslash! Ok, now on to the story!**

**Okay, so to summarise this chapter:**

**We left our lovely Johanna looking through her wardrobe for a dress for the vile Beadle's funeral and dreaming about the gorgeous Mrs. Lovett. What happens when Turpin comes into her room unexpectedly?**

**Sweeney has hung for the murder of the beadle (again, sorry to all the Sweeney lovers! I'll make it up to you in future fics, hopefully!) and Mrs. L. is devastated, poor thing. But no-one can know that she was on Mr Todd's side of things… How would that look? So she resolves to go to the funeral of Bamford, no matter how it will hurt…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sweeney Todd or any related character, etc. Do you really think that if I did, Mrs. Lovett would be allowed to even speak to Sweeney? No she would not. She would be chained up in my room and forbidden from speaking to him. Or at least, a crazy girl would run into the bake house before Sweeney could throw her into the fire, and bludgeon him to death with a chair. Mrs. Lovett would be oh so grateful and eager to make it up to me… Mmm…**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Johanna sifted through her wardrobe, searching for a black dress. She was sure she owned one but in the enormous wooden wardrobe, it would be difficult to find. The Judge didn't like her to wear black, he wanted her beautiful and vibrant in blues and golds and peaches. She liked to dress this way, but it didn't generally suit her mood to be so colourful. A black dress was exactly what she felt like wearing most of the time… Ah, there it was. Johanna pulled the dress out of the wardrobe, shook it out and held it up in front of her. Just the thing. The dress was black all over except for some white stitching around the hem and collar. It was high necked and buttoned right the way up, and the skirt was thinly striped with a dark grey to give an almost pinstripe effect. She held it up against her, frowning. It would fit, she was sure of that, and if it didn't it could be altered before the funeral the next day, there was plenty of time… She was trying to remember why the dress had been bought. She'd certainly never worn it. After thinking for a moment, she let it go. She'd remember later.

Realising she should try the dress on, she unbuttoned her blue dress with difficulty, letting it slide from her shoulders and onto the floor. She picked it up, shook it out, and laid it on her bed. She'd hang it up later. She turned her attention back to the black dress. Picking it up, she walked to the full length mirror on the other side of the room, and held it up against herself once again. The black pulled all of the colour out of her cheeks, she realised. Her skin looked deathly pale against the darkness. She looked just like someone, she thought idly. With a jolt of recognition, she saw who it was. That man. The man who had been with Mrs. Lovett yesterday, who had killed the Beadle. She shivered a little as a chill ran down her spine. Eerie. She pulled the dress on over her silk underclothes, and fastened the buttons. Looking up into the mirror, she thought how much she liked this version of herself. Quiet, morbid, sad. It wasn't that she wanted to be that person, it was just a relief to look like her, after so many years of dressing as though she were a butterfly and feeling obliged to act accordingly.

The dress fitted her well, cinching in her tiny waist, skimming over her hips, the skirts not quite reaching the floor. She nodded at her reflection. Yes, she'd wear it tomorrow. She unbuttoned herself and slid out of the dress, as a crawly feeling made all the fine hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She was being watched, she realised with despair. She couldn't even be in her room in her undergarments without being spied upon. She quickly ran to fetch her blue dress and pull it back on, but the door to her room swung open before she even reached the bed.

"Johanna," came Turpin's voice. She blushed miserably, before attempting to hide the face that she was not dressed by wrapping her arms around herself.

"Sir," she said accusingly "A gentleman knocks before entering a lady's room. I am not dressed." Turpin nodded at this.

"I see that, Johanna. I do apologise, perhaps I should have knocked first. But we're family. Is there really a need to be so private?" Turpin stared at her hungrily, as Johanna wished herself thousands of miles away.

"Sir, kindly leave my room while I make myself decent," Johanna said, her voice quavering. Turpin ignored this last request. Instead, he walked towards Johanna. She backed away nervously.

"Come, child, I won't hurt you. I'd like to talk to you about something."

"Can't it wait until I am dressed?"

"No." Turpin sounded firm. Johanna sat down on her bed, and waited. She had a feeling she knew what was coming.

"Johanna," started Turpin, "As you will have noticed, you have begun to become a woman recently. I trust your nurse is filling you in on all the things that are happening to your body and what they mean?" Johanna gave a small, humiliated jerk of the head. Her nanny had taught her about menstruation and the rest. She didn't want to discuss such things with her father. A blush crept up her neck.

"Don't be embarrassed my dear, I'm merely making sure you are not alarmed by any changes in yourself. Anyway, the point I came to make was that…" He paused, hesitating, wondering how to phrase his next words. "The point I came to make," he said firmly, "was that you have become a fine young woman. And, in order to protect you from the evils of this world, I have decided to marry you!" He beamed with joy, while Johanna struggled to hold back tears. A lump of something rose in her throat as she attempted to speak.

"But.. but Sir. You're my father!" She struggled to find a reason that would convince him not to do this and drew a blank. Once his mind was set on something, there would be no turning back. She swallowed, and bit her lip.

"I have been your father Johanna, but now I would like to be your husband. I would still pay for you and take care of you… All that would change is that I would introduce you to the ways of the world." Turpin smiled crookedly at her and her stomach flopped.

"The… The ways of the world…" She echoed falteringly. He meant like the things the people did in his books downstairs, she was sure of it. The thought of doing those things… With her father, no less! Johanna felt sick. Turpin mistook her words as confusion.

"Shall I show you a little now?" Before Johanna could protest, Turpin had brought his thin lips down onto her wet ones. A small cry escaped Johanna's throat, but it mostly went into Turpin's mouth as he moved his lips against hers. His tongue forced its way into her mouth, and she felt certain she would vomit as it snake around her teeth and ran over her own tongue. Stubble scratched her cheeks and chin, until they felt raw and sore. After what seemd like an eternity, he pulled away from her.

"There now, wasn't that nice?" whispered Turpin in a leering voice. Johanna nodded, terrified. Turpin slid his hand over her waist, and stroked her hair softly.

"I won't show you everything at once Johanna. It's new and exciting to you but I wouldn't want you to get scared. So now I will say goodnight." The Judge leant in to whisper, "One final kiss first though."

Johanna bore it as well as she could, only jumping a little when she felt her fathers hand slide up to cup her breast and gently massage it through her underclothes. He left the room smirking, and Johanna threw herself down on her bed and sobbed. She knew she had to get out of this house.

"Help me…"

***

Mrs. Lovett wandered around the shop at a dead loss. He was gone. The only man that she had ever loved was dead. A tear slid from the corner of her red-rimmed eyes and she brushed it away impatiently. She had never been one to cry, it was too weak, but today she just couldn't stop herself.

She would have to go to the funeral tomorrow, she thought despairingly. She had hated the Beadle, he was a vile little man, but she couldn't let the town think that she was siding with Todd. Especially with them living in such close proximity to each other. She'd surely be hung too. She wanted to die, she wanted to be with Mr Todd, but she was afraid of the violent Policemen. They'd be sure to beat her, maybe burn her as a witch. Mrs. Lovett shuddered as she imagined what it would be like to burn to death. Unpleasant thought. **(Spot the irony, readers!)** No, she wouldn't let that happen. She would have to go to the funeral.

She walked back through to her room, picking up the box of razors she had left on her nightstand. They were all she had left of him now. She had destroyed the photographs of Lucy and Johanna in a fit of rage. If it wasn't for them, Sweeney wouldn't have needed revenge. He wouldn't be gone.

A wail escaped from her lips, and she picked up the razor closest to her. She flicked it open and stared at her reflection. Her eyes were swollen and red and her face was puffy, but she didn't care. She had nothing left to live for, why should she care that she was a mess? She pressed the razor down on her wrist, wishing for the strength to push down hard enough, to open the vein. A thin red line appeared when she pushed harder, but she realised that she was afraid, and knew deep down that she didn't have the courage to slit her wrists. She cried out again, an animal sounding howl of pain as emotions ripped through her, and threw the razor at the wall, just had Sweeney had done yesterday. Collapsing onto her bed, she cried and cried until no more tears would come. She sat up and stared straight ahead, seeing nothing, an eerie shadow of Mr Todd in one of his trances. And she whispered his name until she fell into a fitful sleep.

"Benjamin, Benjamin, Benjamin…"

**So there you have it darlings, chapter two! Please read and review, as always, you shall have femmeslash soon if you do. Criticism welcome, but be nice, it's my first Fanfic attempt! I love each and every one of you, you are all fab, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedules to read this, and R&R!**


	3. Bamford's Funeral

**Hello again Sweethearts! Well, my creative juices have been flowing, by which I mean I have been VERY bored, so I have written you the next instalment to "If I Cannot Fly" ALREADY!- big excitement. As always, please, please R&R, I love to hear what you think! Special thanks and big, big love to everyone who has reviewed so far and given me big praise, especially grapenut01. Thank you for the great reviews Sweetpea, this chapter is speshally for you! It is thanks to you lovely people who review that this is getting written at all. Thank you. I love you all.**

**Another small note: Please forgive me; I haven't included much by way of accents. This is because I cannot do them. So you will have to use your imaginations. As a rule of thumb, Johanna speaks very correctly, as does Turpin, and Mrs. Lovett drops H's and generally speaks in a common old London accent. Sorry again, darlings!**

**This chapter:**

**We left sweet Johanna traumatised by her father kissing her, and declaring that they would be married- eugh. She knows she has to escape if she doesn't want her father to teach her the ways of the world, and today is the day of the funeral… What will happen?**

**Mrs. Lovett is completely devastated by the death of her beloved Sweeney. Not brave enough to just end it all, she realises that if she isn't going to be burned as a witch (Well done to those of you who spotted the irony in chapter two! Give yourselves a shiny!) she'll have to make an effort and go to the Beadle's funeral so that nobody thinks she's in cahoots with the murderer.**

**The funeral is today. Johanna is looking for escape. Mrs. Lovett is looking for any kind of comfort, anything to give her life meaning. Could they find solace in each other? Read on to find out!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sweeney Todd- that would be scary. I do however own Helena Bonham Carter, dressed as Mrs. Lovett. She lives in my room, and her favourite pastimes are snuggling up with me to watch movies, and feeding me strawberries.**

**Sadly, the above is untrue. I own nothing. NO-THING. There, now that you've made me say it, can we get on?**

Johanna woke the next morning feeling exactly as if there was a lead ball inside her heart. For a moment she was puzzled as to why such a feeling of dread and hopelessness was washing over her, then she remembered. Ugh. That business with Turpin last night… Him forcing his mouth over hers… And his hands on her chest. She shuddered, slid out of bed and ran to her bathroom.

When she had emptied the contents of her stomach and rinsed out her mouth, she went back to her room and looked in the mirror. Her skin had a greenish tinge. She looked very unwell, and it wouldn't do to let her father see her looking so sickly. He may prevent her from going to the funeral today, and then how was she to escape?

Johanna pinched her cheeks to put some colour back into them, and fixed a smile onto her face. Chin up, she told herself.

She walked back over to the wardrobe and retrieved the black dress she had hung there the night before. Buttoning herself into it, she smoothed the skirts and tweaked some of the lace edging the cuffs. As she did this, she thought furiously. She would have to come up with a plan.

Her mind raced as she thought over possible plans. She would need somewhere to go. She would need to stay hidden and she would need to be with people she trusted.

An answer came to her. Mrs Lovett! Sure, they didn't know each other, and perhaps she was even associating with the murderer. But she had seen the woman looking towards her house and shaking her head sadly as she passed. She felt sure that there was some connection, something that linked them. She would look after her, Johanna was sure of it. She didn't know how she knew, but she knew.

So she worked it out in her head. She would go to the funeral in her father's carriage. If Mrs. Lovett was there, she would slip away whilst her father was looking away, and beg her for help. If she wasn't, Johanna would have to come up with another plan. She desperately hoped the woman would be there, and she prayed hard as she smoothed her hair.

The sound of a picture frame scraping the wall came from outside her room. Johanna sighed and bit her lip. In her heart, she was screaming.

"Please, please, please, please!"

***

Mrs. Lovett was getting herself ready for the Beadle's funeral. Her dress was one of the ones she always wore- she hadn't the funds to buy a mourning dress. Times were hard, with the pie shop doing so badly. Still, at least it was black, if streaked with flour here and there. She muttered things to herself as she pinned up her hair.

"It'll be okay Nellie. You'll be fine. You'll be okay…" On a loop. Over and over, as though it would help.

She glanced into the mirror next to the piano and almost recoiled. Her eyes were still red and her whole face was blotch and red from her tears. Well, she would have to make a show of being sad for the Beadle's death. She was a good actress. Hadn't she convinced Mister T that his darling Lucy was dead? A wave of guilt washed over her and she closed her eyes, trying to block out the pain. She took a few deep breaths to gain control of herself. When she had recovered, she slicked on some make up, and pulled on her hat. Surveying her reflection in the mirror, she attempted a smile. The dress was fairly clean and she looked presentable. The veiled hat gave her a sense of mourning and respect, and covered her eyes so that people would not be able to see how bloodshot and sore they were.

A funny anticipation began to flicker in her stomach as she left the shop. Something was going to happen today, she was sure of it. She only hoped it was good. God in heaven, she hoped there would be something good in all this. She began her muttering again.

"Chin up, Nellie…"

***

Johanna slid into the carriage beside her father, trying not to look at him.

"Good morning, Johanna."

"Good morning, Father," murmured Johanna, avoiding his gaze.

"Johanna, I don't think that calling me Father is appropriate, now that we are to be wed. In future, you may call me endearing names. It is far more respectful than you using my name. And I think I'd like to be called Darling and Love." Johanna stared at him with despair in her eyes, saying nothing.

"Is that clear, Johanna?" Turpin asked abrasively.

"Yes fath… Yes, Darling," whispered Johanna, almost choking on the word. Turpin beamed at her.

"Very good," He smiled, and turned to look out of the window. Johanna looked out of the opposite window, flinching slightly as she felt Turpin's arm slither around her waist and clasp her to him. She tried to ignore him, and look out of the window. This was her first time outside of the house that she could remember and she should be enjoying it. Instead, she felt ill. People were walking past the carriage, some smarter than others but all of them in black, and all heading towards the church. She stared around at all the shops, the colours, the people. New smells filled her nostrils, some nicer than others. The smell apparently coming from the gutters was foul but the aroma coming from Mrs. Mooney's pie shop was delicious. Sounds filled her ears. Words she had never heard before were being shouted good-naturedly from doorways, children giggled as they played, animals made various noises… Johanna felt almost overwhelmed as all these new experiences enveloped her at once.

"We're here, Dearest."

Johanna looked around to see that they were sitting outside of St. Dustan's church. With a smile of thanks to the driver, she turned to clamber out of the carriage. Turpin had scrambled out first and was standing at her side, offering her his arm. She leant on it warily as they walked towards the cemetery behind the church, breathing the fresh air, listening to the songbirds.

"Let me fly…" thought Johanna, fiercely. "Let me fly!"

***

Nellie wandered towards the graveyard, trying to calm her nerves. She couldn't stop thinking how big a mistake this might be, how everyone would surely see through her. She was terribly frightened.

A group was gathering around the place where the Beadle would be laid to rest. Mrs. Lovett hurried towards them, hoping that the service had not yet begun. She arrived at the side of the grave to find people milling around and forcing small talk. Good, it hadn't yet started. She glanced around, looking to see who had turned up. Miss Mooney was here… Pirelli had come… She jumped in surprise as she saw Sweeney's little daughter, Johanna, accompanied by the loathsome Judge. He had his arm wrapped around her and was nuzzling into her, though the poor thing looked a long way from willing. Mrs. Lovett felt immensely sorry for her. All those years without a scrap of motherly affection… And now her father turning all amorous on her. She deserved to be pitied. She suddenly noticed that Johanna was staring right back at her. Their eyes had locked, and Johanna seemed to be staring at her with pleading in her eyes, along with something else Mrs. Lovett could not identify. Admiration, perhaps? She shot Johanna a soft smile, and made a face towards Turpin. She smiled again as she saw Johanna's pinched face light up with amusement. Poor mite deserved some happiness, thought Mrs. Lovett sadly. Her mother is an insane prostitute, her real father is a dead murderer, and now her adoptive father is eager to get into her underwear, by the looks of things. Then the service began and Nellie bowed her head. It was going to be a long morning. Her heart cracked with every word spoken about the Beadle, and every word left unspoken about Sweeney. Her heart whispered its own prayers as everyone around her offered love to Bamford.

"I love you Ben, I hope you know it. Please be okay…"

***

Johanna didn't bow her head when the rest of the party did. The Beadle had been insanely rude to her when he had been alive, and though she would never have admitted it, she thought that he had gotten what was coming to him. She felt no need to pay her last respects to him. When had he ever paid her any respect? She was begging to think that all men were as bad as each other.

Instead of putting her head down and praying, she gazed at Mrs. Lovett with sharp eyes. There had been something there, she was sure of it. In all the time she'd been here, Mrs. Lovett hadn't made eye contact with anyone but herself, when she'd even smiled! Johanna knew that she must have been hurting from the death of her mysterious friend, she could sense it, so the smile and the funny faces must have counted for something… Instantly, Johanna's faith in her plan was doubled. She would look after her, Johanna knew it with the same certainty that she knew Linnet Birds sung. As the rest of the party chanted the Lord's prayed, Johanna trilled softly.

"Our father, who art in heaven…"

"Green Finch and Linnet Bird, Nightingale, Blackbird, Teach me how to sing, Now's my time to fly…"

***

Mrs. Lovett was surprised to see Johanna striding towards her, with a look of purpose about her. She assumed her father would keep her clamped to his side throughout the whole visit. She gnawed at the skin on her thumb nervously as the girl approached.

"Mrs Lovett?" Johanna asked tentatively.

"Yes, Love?" Replied Mrs. Lovett, trying to look nonchalant.

"Do you know me?" Mrs Lovett looked surprised.

"Yes, love. You're Johanna, Turpin's young ward." Mrs. Lovett pulled out her handkerchief and began to wind it around her fingers anxiously.

"Yes, I'm Johanna," whispered the girl, "But…"

"You ought to get back to your father, darlin'. Doubt he'd be best pleased you were straying from his side," Mrs Lovett interrupted.

"He is no longer my father, Mrs. Lovett, he is my intended now, and he'll be regaling everyone here of his heroic capture of Mr Todd for hours. He won't miss me." Johanna watched, intrigued and saddened, as Mrs. Lovett seemed to shut down at the mention of Todd. The spark in her eyes left, to be replaced with tears. Nellie hastily sniffed them back.

"Well… Congratulations then, my dear. May you have a long and happy life togeth..."

"No." Johanna cut her off mid-sentence. "Mrs. Lovett, I do not want to be his wife!" The two women turned to look at Turpin, who was enthusiastically miming kicking something violently to a crowd of onlookers. Mrs Lovett sighed.

"I don't blame you, to be honest, love."

"Mrs. Lovett," said Johanna determinedly. "I know you know me more than most. I know you know things about me, I can feel it, and I see it in your eyes!" Mrs Lovett squirmed, and said nothing.

"See?" smiled Johanna. "Mrs. Lovett," She continued gently. "Please help me. I want to stay with you until I know everything, away from the judge." At Mrs. Lovett's surprised look, she continued, gabbling. "Mrs. Lovett, ma'am, I don't want to learn the ways of the world! I want to know about the life I used to have, about my parents, I want to be safe and I want to stay with you because you're the only person I trust! Please!" Johanna shrieked the last few words, then burst into frightened tears.

Mrs. Lovett watched her, aghast.

"Please, Mrs. Lovett. I'll work. I'll be so good. You won't know I'm there." Johanna was begging with her eyes, as round tears rolled over her cheeks. Mrs Lovett tried to reply, faltered, then tried again. Johanna prayed.

"Let me fly… Let me fly!"

And Mrs. Lovett answered.

**So there you are darlings, the next chapter, and a bit of a cliff-hanger there! Read the next chapter to find out what Mrs. Lovett will say! Chapter 4 is already underway and will be posted very, very soon. Let me know if you liked this chapter, please R&R- if you do I will love you always. Femmeslash to come if I get good reviews! You are all groovy gravy and fabby, again, well done for reading through this! (I would also like to add that Johanna's happily ever after may only happen iffff I get reviews. Otherwise, she may be pregnant with Turpin's baby in the next chapter. Hey, it's up to you, darlings. Do the right thing. XD) Beebee xxxxxx**


	4. Nellie's Anguish

Well hello again, all my lovely readers

**Well hello again, all my lovely readers! Thank you all so much for your reviews, they mean a lot to me. Johanna shall have her happily ever after yet… Or will she? Keep the reviews coming please! As usual, this chapter is for all my gorgeous reviewers, and also speshally for Twitch, just 'cause she rocks. Happy Halloween to you all!**

**This Chapter:**

**Lucy asked Mrs. Lovett to take her home and protect her from Turpin, who wants to marry her and teach her the ways of the world. Eww! What will Mrs Lovett say? Will Johanna move in with her? How will Turpin react when he finds that Johanna is not glued to his side as he relates how he kicked Mr T into unconsciousness and saw him hung? Is this the chapter full of hot femmeslash? Will this be another chapter full of mindless rambling rubbish? Find out… If you dare! Mwahahaha!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. You know it, I know it, and if I tried to deny it I'm sure you'd all be happy to point it out to me. However, in Beebee land where anything is possible, Mrs Lovett and I are married and getting along just wonderfully. We also have children of various ages and sex. If you would like me to send you one, R&R! They'll grow up to look just like HBC, with smidgens of my written genius mixed in there too. Jokes about the last part (: I'm not one to blow my own trumpet. (Best phrase ever, that!) **

Johanna prayed.

"Let me fly… Let me fly!"

And Mrs. Lovett answered.

"No."

Johanna looked stunned. She had been so sure. Could she have misheard?

"I beg your pardon?"

"I said no," said Mrs. Lovett firmly. "I'm sorry love, but really, I shouldn't get mixed up in this. If Turpin finds you, I'll be hung for kidnapping." This wasn't the real reason. The real reason was that Mrs. Lovett couldn't bear to have Johanna around, couldn't bear to have _anything_ which reminded her of dear Mr. Todd around. She felt horribly guilty as she looked at Johanna's crestfallen face.

"But…" The child tried once more.

"No," replied Mrs. Lovett. "I'm sorry, my pet. But I can't." Johanna understood where the woman was coming from, she knew it was an enormous thing to agree to anyway, but she couldn't help feeling so disappointed. In her head she had moved in with Mrs. Lovett and they were spending cosy nights by the fire together.

In reality, she was going home with Turpin.

She nodded, defeated, and tried hard to smile at Nellie, looking pitifully miserable. Mrs. Lovett's bottom lip quivered, and she pulled Johanna into a tight embrace. Johanna held her breath and allowed herself to be comforted by Mrs. Lovett's warmth, by her soft body. Tears spilled out of her eyes, and she made no attempt to wipe them away. The dream was over.

The women didn't notice that Turpin was standing at Johanna's side until they broke contact. Mrs. Lovett looked alarmed for a second, before regaining her composure. She forced her lips into a sad smile.

"Poor Johanna. She loved the Beadle very much," she said quietly to Turpin. He nodded soberly.

"She did indeed. We had better leave now. I wouldn't want my beloved to upset herself. Come along, Darling." He pulled on Johanna's arm like an impatient schoolboy. With one last longing gaze at Mrs. Lovett, she and Turpin hurried towards the carriage. Mrs. Lovett's eyes followed them until they were out of sight. Only then did she allow herself to cry.

"I'm sorry, Ben… I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

***

Johanna woke the next morning feeling as though the whole world had ended. Turpin had dropped her back to the house after the funeral, and she had gone straight to bed, even though it was only early afternoon. Johanna didn't even care. She just wanted to cry and cry, to force all of the tears out of her body, to get rid of all the sadness.

She just wanted Mrs Lovett.

Turpin had gone to the wake, and was too drunk by the time he stumbled back into the house to try any of the new inductions to being a wife on her. Johanna was grateful for that, at least, but she wished she could fly away, leave this house forever.

Apparently it was not to be.

With a heavy heart, she made herself get out of bed, wash, and dress. Her dress today was a deep navy blue, velvet and intricate. She stared into the mirror, bitterly hating every stud and every fake rose appliquéd to her chest. She wanted to wear black, damnit! She wanted to be miserable and not have people think her spoilt and ungrateful! She wanted to be free!

Again, that thought flashed across her mind.

She wanted Mrs. Lovett.

She bit back a scream of frustration, and clawed at her scalp, trying in vain to block out that thought. She couldn't be in love, it wasn't possible. She didn't want to be in love, she wanted to be alright again. She wanted to be a child, to be looked after.

She wanted Mrs. Lovett.

Johanna sank to the floor and wept, with harsh heavy sobs that racked her whole body. Pain swept over her, and she wondered if she'd ever feel better again. She stayed in this position, rocking miserably, until she realised she'd better straighten up. This wasn't doing her any good. Acting like a lunatic wasn't going to help her, not unless she wanted to grow up to be like that poor beggar woman who wandered the streets, who didn't seem to know her own name.

She stood up and straightened her clothes, just as her Nurse knocked at the door, before stepping into the room.

"Good morning Miss. How are you feeling today?" Johanna's nurse was a caring little soul, always made sure her charge was okay, and not feeling ill on the days she worked.

"I'm okay thank you, Annie, and yourself?" enquired Johanna politely, thinking, "Please. Just go away."

"I'm just fine, Miss. But your poor fiancé, he isn't so well today," replied Annie, trying to keep any emotion out of her face, when all she wanted to do was smile. She didn't like Turpin, not at all. Johanna looked at her questioningly.

"What sort of not well?" asked Johanna.

"Well, Miss, we believe he has Smallpox. He has requested that we take you out of the house so that you don't contract the disease," recited the Nurse solemnly. "He says that the only person besides him that he is sure you are fond of," (Annie allowed herself a tiny snigger here) "Is Mrs. Lovett. He therefore insists that you stay with her until the disease leaves him." She smiled triumphantly at herself having remembered the entire message, and Johanna looked at her incredulously.

"You mean to say," whispered Johanna, with wide eyes, "You mean to say that I'm to stay with Mrs. Lovett?"

"Yes, miss," replied Annie, smiling simply. "If you'll allow me to pack you some clothes while you finish getting ready Miss, your coach will leave in about a half hour."

Johanna nodded, smiling all over her pretty little face.

"Now's my time to fly…"

***

Mrs. Lovett stepped outside of her front door, to put out the milk bottles for the milkman, and stopped in her tracks.

That was Johanna's coach, she was absolutely certain of it. Yes, it was! There was Johanna, smiling out from the window. God in heaven. She wasn't sure she was able for this today. A woman she could only assume was Johanna's nurse was walking towards her, holding a suitcase. Oh God.

"Nellie Lovett?" asked the woman.

"Yes," replied the baker fearfully.

"Annie Palmer, hello. I'm Johanna's nurse. Her husband-to-be has unfortunately contracted Smallpox, and he insisted that Johanna stay with you until he is better." Annie smiled at the confused woman in front of her.

"Why with me?" asked Nellie incredulously.

"Judge Turpin says that you're the only other person that Johanna here is fond of," replied Annie. Johanna, who had since caught them up, blushed pink as a peony and stared at her shoes. Mrs. Lovett opened her mouth as if to protest.

"Mrs. Lovett, Judge Turpin insists," Annie said firmly. After a moment, Mrs. Lovett nodded resignedly.

"All right. Come in then, Johanna." Mrs. Lovett picked up one of the cases Johanna was holding, and carried it towards the spare room.

"I'm dong this for you Ben… Heaven help me."

**So that's chapter four, readers! Fairly short I know but the next chapter should be longer. As always, please read and review! How will Mrs. Lovett react to her new lodger? Will Johanna confess her love for Nellie? Find out in chapter five! Love to all of you who have read and extra love to those who have reviewed!**

**Beebee xxxxxx**


	5. Johanna's Epiphany

**Big Love and thanks to XrazorxpiesX, WannaBLovett, BeBopALula, and as always,** **lovely grapenut01 for reading and reviewing! Please let me know what you think of the new chapter! There will be femmeslash, the time it takes me to post it depending on how many reviews I get! There's a motivation for you, darlings. One additional thought: Happy Halloween! You should see my house, it's insane. Blood handprints and cobwebs everywhere.) Hope you all have a marvy time and have fab parties to go to, or at least beg your neighbours for sweeties!**

**Okay, so in this chapter:**

**We left the great Judge Turpin in bed with a bad dose of smallpox. Hahahaha! That there is karma. He shouldn't have forced the ways of the world upon sweet Johanna, now, should he? **

**In the meantime, Johanna has been sent to stay with Mrs. Lovett, as the Judge at least saw them together at the funeral, and knows that Johanna is fond of lovely Nellie. Mrs. Lovett warily accepts Johanna into the household- but what happens next?**

**Disclaimer: I. Don't. Own. Sweeney. Todd. Or any related characters. It breaks my heart a little more with each time I write the disclaimer. However, back in Beebee land where anything is possible, grapenut01 and I now share Mrs. L. She can't be away from me for long, it upsets her, but grapenut01 gets time with her Mondays and Wednesdays. Everyone is very happy.**

Johanna anxiously followed Mrs. Lovett through to the spare room, two heavy suitcases in her hands. The woman had stayed silent wile Johanna bid farewell to Annie, and ever since then too. Johanna felt bad for turning up unannounced, and she couldn't help but think of how bad this must look. She'd begged Mrs. Lovett to take her home at the funeral, and now, conveniently, Turpin was ill and she had come to stay anyway. And this time, Mrs. Lovett had no choice in the matter. Johanna knew that she must be grieving and that company maybe wasn't what she needed right now. She felt wretched.

"Mrs. Lovett?" asked Johanna timidly, setting down her suitcases in the dingy spare room.

Mrs. Lovett turned quickly and frowned at her. "What?"

Johanna jumped and looked at the floor. "I'm sorry. Really I am. I know how bad this looks and I know you really don't want me to be here, but this really isn't a set-up."

"Why here?" asked Mrs. Lovett crossly. Usually her manners would be far better than this but she was exhausted and angry and frightened of how having Ben's daughter in her house while she was mourning him would affect her.

"I'm sorry?"

"Why here! Why did Turpin send you here? There must have been a hundred places you could have gone!" Mrs. Lovett searched Johanna's face for answers.

"I don't have much by way of family, Mrs. Lovett. Turpin is all I have. He saw you being so kind to me at the funeral, and you're the only person that I've really ever spoken to aside from Annie, Turpin, and the late Beadle Bamford. I suppose he thought we were friends, thought I was fond of you…"

"Are you?" interrupted Mrs. Lovett quickly.

"Yes," blushed Johanna. "I am. I think you're perfectly lovely for taking me in."

After a moments silence, the girl continued. "But yes, he must have thought you'd look after me."

Mrs. Lovett muttered something which sounded very much like, "It wouldn't be the first time." Johanna looked at her, confusion stamped all over her face.

"Did you say "It wouldn't be the first time"?" she asked.

Mrs. Lovett sighed and thought for a moment, before replying.

"Johanna, there's a lot you don't know. Your mother, your real father, how your life started out… I know it all, Love. I used to watch you, you see. Your mother and father would go out, and I would baby-sit you while they were gone…" Mrs. Lovett's voice trailed off, as Johanna advanced towards her, hope in her eyes.

"You mean to say that you know? You know all these things about me? Mrs. Lovett, you must tell me! You simply must!" Johanna was almost breathless with suspense. Mrs. Lovett nodded and took a deep breath.

"It's a long story Johanna, and very sad in parts. It'll change the way you think of the judge, of me… and I'm sure your parents will be different to how you always imagined. Are you sure you want to know?" Johanna nodded eagerly, but something like fear flickered inside her heart.

"Tell me."

Mrs. Lovett smiled.

"Okay. Your mother was a woman named Lucy Barker. She was very pretty, not unlike yourself. You look very like her." Johanna blushed at the compliment, and Mrs. Lovett went on. "She was a very… good woman. Very kind. And she adored you, Johanna." Mrs. Lovett's voice seemed to have a bitter edge about it. Johanna opened her mouth to ask a question.

"No questions, please, love. I'll tell you everything I know, and then if there's anything you don't understand, ask me." Johanna nodded, and sat on the bed, folding her hands. Mrs. Lovett sat next to her, and spoke again.

"Your father was a wonderful man. His name was Benjamin Barker." Mrs. Lovett's eyes filled with tears. "Why?" thought Johanna, but she kept quiet. She laid a hand over Mrs. Lovett's, and the older woman squeezed it gratefully.

"He was a very good man, Johanna, and he too doted on you, and on Lucy." A definite hardness could be heard in her voice here. Johanna still said nothing.

"Your father was a barber, Johanna. The best in London, they said, and it was true. Your parents were young when they had you, Johanna. They lived above this very shop, in the room upstairs.

"Anyway, Judge Turpin…" Mrs. Lovett hesitated here. "Are you sure you want to know?" She asked Johanna. "It's not nice."

"Yes, please," whispered Johanna.

"Okay. Judge Turpin had seen your mother around Johanna, with you, out at markets and such with your father. He… admired your mother very much. By this I mean, he wanted to show her the ways of the world, the ones you mentioned earlier." Johanna's eyes widened in surprise. Turpin had done this with her mother too? She still kept silent.

"So one day, he sends his guards to get Ben. They hit him with a truncheon, and drag him away. He was sent to Australia, out of the way, so that Turpin could have his way with Lucy.

"They told everyone he'd been foolish. A false charge, of course, Ben was very sensible, if a little naïve. But now that Ben was out of the way he could lay his plans against Lucy. Poor thing, all she did after Ben was taken away was stay up in her room and cry. She minded you well enough, but she was very miserable, Johanna. And the Judge is sending her flowers every day.

"Soon after this, the beadle calls for your mother. He tells her that the Judge is all contrite, and that Lucy should come back with him to see Turpin. Lucy agrees, hoping to get Ben back. You were left with me, Johanna.

"When Lucy gets to Turpin's house, they're having a ball. Everyone is in masks, and she cannot find Judge Turpin. She drinks, something far too strong for her, and eventually falls down exhausted on a sofa in the room. Turpin appears from nowhere, and decides to have his wicked way with your mother, then and there in the middle of the party. The guests all stand around and laugh as your mother screamed, thinking it was oh, so droll, thinking your mother was daft.

"Well Lucy came home in a right state, with a ripped gown, scratches and bruises, tears streaming down her face. I tried my best to comfort her but she was inconsolable, kept talking about how she wanted Ben. She wanted to be with Ben.

"So the next day, she asks me to look after you again, while she goes to get some things. She seems a little chirpier, which pleases me, so I agree. She comes home after a few hours, empty handed, but with one small paper bag from the apothecary round the corner. She takes you from me and goes upstairs. A while later, I go up to check on you both. You're crying, and so is Lucy, as she pulls a bottle out of the bag. Before I can protest, she openes the bottle and tips the best part of it down her throat. She drops it on the floor, and I run to pick it up. It's arsenic. She'd poisoned herself.

"Next thing I know, Turpin's come to kidnap you, insisting that he raises you. It wouldn't do for me to defy him, I'd have gone to the gallows, so I had to let you go. And so, you became his ward.

"And that's the story," said Mrs. L sadly. Johanna was staring at her, aghast, taking in this horrible information. Both women were silent for several minutes.

"So what happened?" asked Johanna finally. "What happened to my parents?"

"Your mother didn't die." Whispered Mrs. Lovett cryptically. Johanna snapped her head round to look at her, hope dancing in her eyes.

"But she went insane, Johanna. She circles the streets, begging for alms. She doesn't remember anything. She wouldn't remember you." Johanna nodded, dumbfounded.

"And what of my father?" She asked faintly.

"Your father came back. I was very fond of him Johanna, very fond. I loved your father very much, and I was always jealous of Lucy. I'm afraid I did something terrible." Mrs. Lovett began to sob. Johanna collected her into her arms, and pushed the hair off her face.

"I'm sure you didn't," Johanna soothed. "Please tell me what happened."

"Your father disguised himself, Johanna, and came back looking for you. I told him that you were with Turpin… and I told him… that Lucy had poisoned herself. And I told him why. But I didn't tell him she was alive. And he got it into his head that he had to take revenge on the Beadle, and on Turpin, for making his beloved Lucy kill herself. So Mr Todd…"

"Did you say Mr Todd?" gasped Johanna suddenly, cogs whirring in her brain. It slotted right into place.

"Yes," muttered Mrs. Lovett wretchedly. "So you know the rest of the story." Johanna looked absolutely devastated, as she processed this news. Her father was a murderer. She shivered as she remembered how much she'd looked like him, in her black mourning dress.

"I'm sorry, Johanna," whispered Mrs. Lovett. "I really am." She began to sob again.

"Shh, it's okay," said Johanna. "It wasn't your fault. I bet my father would have punished the judge anyway, if he knew he'd raped my mother and made her go insane. Don't cry."

Mrs. Lovett wiped away her tears with the back of her hand.

"You're very kind Johanna. I have to say, Turpin raised you well. You look like your mother mostly, but I think you have your father's personality ingrained into you." Mrs. Lovett gave her a watery smile. Johanna smiled back, her heart pounding.

"Yes. You're very like Ben," whispered Mrs. Lovett.

And before she knew she was going to do it, she'd brought her mouth down upon Johanna's.

The women's lips worked softly together, gently moving in sync. Mrs. Lovett suddenly realised what she'd done, and her head was screaming, "What?!" She shouldn't be kissing Johanna because she reminded her of Ben. But her poor bruised heart wanted this, needed the comfort, the affection. Mrs. Lovett parted her lips a little, begging entrance to Johanna's mouth with her tongue, wondering vaguely why Johanna was kissing her back.

Johanna was kissing back because she loved the woman. She was so sure of it, it almost hurt. This kiss was beautiful, she thought, her heart singing. So different from the intruding Judge. She opened her mouth to allow Mrs. Lovett's tongue to glide over her teeth, exploring her mouth gently, until the two women's tongue's entwined. The kiss went on for several minutes. Both wished it would never end.

Then suddenly, Johanna pulled away. Smiling happily, she whispered, "Thank you."

Mrs. Lovett, stroked her hair with a rough hand, and smiled back, feeling quietly scared.

"Mrs. Lovett?"

"Mmm?"

"I'd like to see my mother," said Johanna. Mrs. Lovett nodded softly, vowing that she would make it up to Ben by not allowing any more harm to befall poor, sweet Johanna.

"Nothing's gonna harm you darlin'…"

**Well, there you are darlings! It's getting heavy now! As always, R&R, let me know what you think please! I love to get reviews! Also, don't forget, Johanna's happily ever after depends on what you say… So be nice if you don't want the sweet child stolen away by Turpin!**


	6. Lucy's Insanity

**Well hello again, Darlings! Hope you all had a fab and marvy Halloween! You know what I'm gonna say, don't you? That's right guys, please, please R&R, I love getting reviews, it makes me so happy! Thank yous and love to everybody who already has, especially grapenut01, my biggest fan (: Be sure to let me know what you think of the new chapters too!**

**This Chapter:**

**So we just witnessed Johanna learning all about her start in life, and saw her and Mrs. Ls very first kiss- Aww! Johanna has asked to see her mother, although she knows she's stone mad, crazy as a wedge, her cheese has slid off her cracker… What am I burbling about? Utter nonsense, that's what. What will happen when Johanna meets her mother for the first time? All will be revealed when you read chapter six of "If I Cannot Fly"! On with the story!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sweeney Todd or any related characters or lyrics. If I owned them, Turpin would have died from something very painful before the opening titles, the Beadle would be a friendly monkey called Chip, Lucy would actually be fine so that Mr T could be happy and have no reason at all to talk to my darling Mrs. Lovett AT ALL, and Anthony would definitely have had a haircut. And possibly a handlebar moustache, just for comedy value.**

**And obviously, I'd be in there too. Mrs. Lovett's slavey girl, to do with what she would. And believe me darlings, she would. Always had a fondness for me, she did… :P**

Johanna stood up from the bed and smoothed her hair down. It was a little mussed from where Mrs. Lovett's hand had been… She smiled a secret smile to herself, and ran her tongue over her teeth, savouring the lingering taste of Mrs. Lovett.

The woman was still sitting on Johanna's bed, looking dazed and a little confused, feeling guilty for letting this happen, guilty for realising she'd wanted it to happen. She shook her head, and went to stand next to Johanna, who beamed at her.

Bloody hell, what'd she done?

"Mrs. Lovett, can we see my mother now? Please?" Johanna looked bright and eager, and Mrs. Lovett's heart melted in her chest. The poor child. This couldn't be good for her, she was sure of it, but she looked so excited.

"Okay love. Fifteen years is a long enough time to wait to see your mother again. Let's go." Johanna squealed excitedly, and ran to pull her coat out of her suitcase. Mrs. Lovett left her, and went to fetch her own coat. She wandered back through the shop, and found Johanna already at the front door, raring to leave. Mrs. Lovett smiled at her with difficulty, and opened the door. They were going to find Lucy.

Johanna sang as they walked.

"I'd want you beautiful and pale, the way I've dreamed you were…"

*******

Lucy stood on the corner of the street, staring up at the house opposite her. Turpin and her little ward Johanna lived there, she knew, but she wasn't sure how. She also had the most peculiar feeling she'd been inside that place. Had there been a party? Perhaps it was in a former life. She sung wildly as she begged money from passers by.

"Alms, alms, for a miserable woman…" People passing by ignored her, used to her strange ways. Ah, that boy was coming, the one she'd seen staring at Johanna… Or had she? She couldn't recall.

"Alms, sir?" She asked him pitifully. He dropped a few coins into the woman's hands, and turned to look up at the window.

"Than you sir! Thank you!" She cried gratefully. She turned to leave, starting to sing once more.

"badeedledeedledeedle…"

"Ma'am," said Anthony suddenly. She turned to look at who had touched her. A boy. Who was he? Then she remembered. he was the boy who looked at her daughter.

No not her daughter! Why had she thought that? I'm crazy, she thought to herself, and giggled. Anthony looked concerned.

"What do you want sonny?" she smiled at him.

" could you tell me Whose house is this?" Anthony gestured towards the Judge's place.

"Oh, that's the great Judge Turpin's house, that is!" she was pleased that she'd remembered.

"And the young lady who resides there?"

"Ahhhh, that's Johanna, his pretty little ward. Keeps her snug he does, all locked up. So don't you trespassing there, or it's a good whipping for you! Or any other young man with mischief on his mind…" She laughed, and span around to walk away from him, singing to strangers as she went.

"How would you like a little muff dear, a little jig-jig, a little bounce around the bush? Wouldn't you like to push me parsley, it looks to me dear, like you got plenty there to push! Aaaaaalms, Aaaalms…"

Lucy was surprised to see the girl walking round the corner towards her. The girl from the window, she thought, and she smiled a little sadly. She was with another woman. I know you, thought Lucy. I do know you. I think we were friends once. She smiled at Mrs. Lovett as she and Johanna approached.

"Hello, Nellie," she said vaguely. Mrs. Lovett started, and stared at her.

"You called me Nellie… do you know me?" Lucy shook her head, as though trying to free her mind of thoughts.

"'Scuse me, ma'am. Don't mind me, I'm just a crazy beggar woman, I am. Alms, good lady, alms?"

Mrs. Lovett turned to Johanna. "See darlin'? She's not right in the head, poor thing. The arsenic ruined her mind." Johanna stepped forwards determinedly.

"Lucy?" She asked. Lucy looked confused.

"I ain't Lucy," she said shortly.

"I think you are. Don't you remember me? I'm your little daughter." Johanna was trying to hold back her tears, hoping that somehow the intensity of her love for this scruff beggar woman could jolt her mind into remembering.

"I ain't been Lucy for a long time," said Lucy stubbornly. Now why had she said that? she thought. Lucy's my name, isn't it? Or is it? Oh, I don't know…

"I'm your daughter, Johanna," whispered the girl despairingly.

"I ain't got no daughter. I'm just a poor beggar girl. You ain't no Johanna, either. You live in Turpin's house, don't you? Pretty little thing, you are, sitting in that window all day, singing. I know you I do. Your name's Johanna, isn't it?" Johanna bit her lip, and stepped back towards Mrs Lovett. She looked up at her with tears in her eyes.

"I really thought she'd remember me, Mrs. L. I really did." She wept sadly, as Mrs. Lovett dropped a coin into Lucy's open palm, and whisked her away.

***

Johanna and Nellie sat together on Johanna's bed. Johanna was still crying softly, as Mrs. Lovett cradled her in her arms. She loved the poor girl, she had a lot of Mr Todd in her, and it pained her to see young Johanna so distressed.

Johanna was weeping for everything. The loss of her mother, of her father. Turpin's proposal. Mrs. Lovett's original rejection of her… everything just seemed to smother her, dragging her down to some dark abyss. Mrs. Lovett's hands stroking her fevered head felt so good, and she longed to allow herself to feel protected, even cherished, but what was the fault of lulling herself into a false sense of security? Mrs. Lovett would be glad to get rid of her as soon as Turpin was well again, Johanna was sure of it. She would be abandoned, left for judge Turpin to have his way with her, as he did her mother all those years ago… Johanna wondered if se would go the same way as her mother did. Wandering the streets, a prostitute. Unable to remember her own name or even what she had said twenty seconds ago. Johanna squeezed her eyes together in an effort to block out this frightening thought.

"Love?" Mrs. Lovett was looking at her in a way that made Johanna want to burst into fresh tears. Instead, she reached up and kissed her.

The kiss started out the same way it had done the first time- gentle, sweet. But something in the way Mrs. Lovett was holding Johanna, running her hands over the girl's knees, made an involuntary moan escape Johanna's throat, and in that second, everything changed. The two women broke apart, looking at each other in frightened anticipation. Time stood still.

"Let's fly…"

**So there you are sweethearts! Review, and I promise you femmeslash next chapter! Don't review, and I might just quit the story right now, or have Turpin suddenly bust in in a tutu and raping them both… You decide, readers! **

**Love Beebee xxx**


	7. Annie's News

**Well, hello darlings, I'm back! Having a pretty terrible day, I'm afraid, and have decided to vent my frustrations by channelling the energy into Fanfic! For this reason, the chapter you are about to read may not be what you expect... Or indeed, want! But I am the writer, so hahahaha! Big thanks and love as always to all the sweethearts who took the time to read and review, especially my Lovely grapenut01, and BeBopALula, who gave me my first review and constructive criticism, then reviewed again recently to tell me she liked the new chapters. Thank you! Also, special thanks and love to my goooorgeous Twitch, who tells me straight if I'm writing crap.**

**This Chapter:**

**Our darling Johanna visited her insane mother, who didn't really seem to remember her. Johanna was devastated, poor love, and Mrs. Lovett comforted her as best she could… Next thing we know, the girls are at it again! Deary me! But after that first soft kiss, the mood changes… so what now? It seems the promised femmeslash is finally here… but is it? Read on to find out!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sweeney Todd or any related characters. However, in Beebee land, Mrs. Lovett and I are very much together, and you'll be pleased to know the good news- the wedding is on Christmas Day! (Don't worry, grapenut01, you'll still get special time with my future wife.) All those who read and review are invited. I also own a timeshare in Mrs. Mooney. But it's a secret! You didn't hear it from me…**

Johanna stared hard at Mrs. Lovett, her heart pounding in her throat. She was scared, happy, exhilarated, panicky… all theses different emotions rushed through her at once, and her stomach lurched expectantly as Mrs. Lovett lifted a trembling hand to the girl's warm cheek.

"Mrs. Lovett?" whispered Johanna shyly.

"Nellie," the woman replied, and she brought Johanna's face back towards hers, pulling her thumb along her bottom lip and making her dizzy, before bringing her mouth down hard upon Johanna's sweet lips.

There was nothing sweet about this _kiss_, however. It was teasing, tantalising, and more than a little… dirty. Nellie had forced her tongue into Johanna's mouth and was twisting it frantically, as though she wanted to experience the inside of Johanna's mouth all at once. Johanna was kissing back furiously, biting gently on Nellie's bottom lip, making her gasp.

Nellie lifted a shaking hand, and ran it up Johanna's body… Over her hip, over her stomach, up and up, until it finally came to rest, cupped over her breast. Mrs. Lovett sighed with desire for Johanna, and began to massage her breast through her dress. She frowned in confusion and surprise as the girl stiffened in her arms.

Johanna broke from the kiss and pulled away from her, images flashing through her mind: Turpin, raping her mother, Turpin kissing her, Turpin moving his hands over her chest… She shuddered, and a tear fell out of her eye. Mrs. Lovett, who had been watching her carefully, unsure whether to be offended, suddenly realised what must be going through the girl's head. She cursed herself for being so insensitive, for putting her own want for Johanna before the girl's feelings. She took Johanna's hand between both of her own, and pulled it onto her lap, stroking it sadly.

"I'm so sorry, Johanna," she murmured wretchedly. Johanna shook her head wildly.

"Don't be. It isn't you… I want to… It's just, I keep thinking about…"

"I know, I know," Mrs. Lovett soothed. "It's okay." She wished she could comfort the girl somehow. She saw Mr Todd in her so much at times like this. They were just alike, locking themselves away in their heads, trying to battle with the bad thoughts alone. Mr Todd had gone a little mad from it; he never paid Nellie the slightest bit of attention, and had eventually killed a man. He was dangerous when he slipped into these uncomprehending moods.

Yet here was Johanna, who dealt with her problems in an eerily similar way, but without losing her mind. She just needed something to cling on to, something to give her strength, to keep her going. Mrs Lovett desperately wished she could be that thing. She gently reached up and wiped away one of Johanna's tears with her thumb. Johanna gazed at her, with sadness and desperation.

"Make me forget, Nellie…" Johanna pleaded. "I want to forget everything. The Judge, the beadle, my father, my mother… I want to forget everyone but you. I just want to be here with you and show you how much I…I…" Nellie looked at her, holding her breath.

"How much you what, darlin'?"

"How much I… love you." Johanna flushed, but held the other woman's gaze. Mrs. Lovett smiled sweetly at her.

"You love me?"

Johanna nodded at her, biting her lip, unsure as to whether she had been right to tell her.

"Johanna?" whispered Nellie cautiously.

"Yes?"

"I love you too…" smiled Mrs. Lovett, realising it was true. "I do. I love everything about you. I love the way you're so much like your father… And I love the way you're so different. I love the way you deal with things, I love the way you care so much about everything, I love the way you speak, sing, smell, look, smile…" Nellie trailed off. So much to say. And no words to say it with. "I love you," she whispered again.

And Johanna smiled, a huge, face-splitting smile which reached from ear to ear. She was the happiest she had ever been in her entire life. She'd finally have her happily ever after, it seemed. Still grinning, she pulled her hand from Mrs. Lovett's grasp, and picked up one of the other woman's hands, laying it carefully back over her chest, where it had been minutes previously. Mrs. Lovett giggled, and began to move her fingers again, gently stroking Johanna through the fabric. Johanna was finally able to relax, safe in the knowledge that Mrs. Lovett that Mrs. Lovett cared for her too. She put a hand on the back of Mrs. Lovett's head, tangling her hand in her red curls. Mrs Lovett never withdrew her lips from Johanna's, kissing hard and fast… Her hand began to travel up from Johanna's chest to the first button at the top of her dress. Still kissing furiously, she looped the first button through its hole, and pulled the dress apart at the top. Johanna whimpered with desire, and pulled her hand down to the next button.

And at that moment, there was a knock at the door.

The two women froze, hesitating. Suddenly, what they'd been doing seemed something to be acutely ashamed of. At the same time, neither of them wanted it to stop.

"Don't answer it," muttered Johanna desperately. Mrs. Lovett nodded, and lifted her hand again to the second button on Johanna's dress. Again came the knocking at the door, louder and more insistent.

"They're not going to leave until we answer, love." Mrs. Lovett sighed heavily, smoothing down her dress and her hair. Johanna nodded, wondering who it would be. Who was so desperate to speak to Mrs. Lovett? Then an idea hit her. What if it was for her? What if Turpin was well again already, and he demanded that she return home? Oh, she couldn't bear it. She stood up quickly, straightening her clothes and running her hand over her hair, just as the older woman had done, and then the two women both hurried towards the door.

Johanna was tense and scared as Mrs. Lovett turned the handle and pushed the front door open. Sure enough, her nurse Annie stood in the doorway, looking as though she had terrible news for the girl. Johanna closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Mrs. Lovett felt how tense she was, and let her hand hover protectively around the small of Johanna's back.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Lovett, Johanna."

"Hello," whispered Johanna, as Mrs Lovett said "Can we help you?"

"I'm afraid I've come to you with some bad news," Said Annie quietly. Johanna gave a tiny involuntary sound of dismay, and Mrs. Lovett grabbed her hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"Judge Turpin… passed away, this morning," continued Annie, not seeing the relieved, surprised looks exchanged between Johanna and Nellie. Johanna had grasped one point only- she was not going home. She didn't have to leave now, and she didn't have to be Turpin's wife. She might even be able to stay here, with Mrs. Lovett!

"He didn't leave a will," Annie said, "But he said before he died that everything he owned would be left to you, Johanna. He also said that you had no relatives, and so if Mrs. Lovett would have you, you should stay here. Otherwise, you'll have to use the money he left you to buy yourself a place to live." Annie looked enquiringly at Mrs. Lovett. Johanna looked too, nervously, feeling butterflies bickering in her stomach.

"She's staying with me," replied Mrs. Lovett quickly. Johanna looked at her hopefully.

"Can I really?" she asked breathlessly.

"Yes, love. If it's what you want."

"Oh, it is, it is!" Johanna laughed joyfully, and stood on tiptoe to kiss the woman on the cheek. Mrs Lovett smiled fondly at her and turned back to the nurse at her door.

"Thank you," she said softly. Annie nodded, and smiled at the two girls.

"I'll be going then. Goodbye, miss," smiled Annie to Johanna. Johanna grinned back, and kissed Annie on the head.

"Thank you for everything, Annie," she beamed. Annie gave them both a final farewell smile, then turned and left the house.

***

It wasn't until she reached her room that the full weight of what Annie had said hit her. Her adopted father was dead. And no, he hadn't been the best parent, but she had still loved him, in a grudging, reluctant way.

Mrs. Lovett looked at her face, noticing the sudden wodgebone expression it had acquired, and understood. The poor girl had something new to grieve. But she'd be there, she vowed. She'd do everything she could to make her happy. She drew Johanna into a tight embrace, and Johanna squeezed back gratefully. She'd be okay. She had Mrs. Lovett. And she was finally free.

***

Johanna woke the next morning in a state of bliss. She was going to be okay now, she was sure of it. She had Mrs. Lovett. She was strong.

She woke Nellie up that morning by picking up her pillow and bringing it down over the sleeping woman's head. Mrs. Lovett started, and sat bolt upright.

"Bloody hell!" She shook her head in confusion, and then noticed Johanna standing next to her, grinning cheekily and holding a pillow.

"Oh, I see," laughed Mrs. Lovett, and she picked up her own pillow. The girls had a fun ten minutes battling it out, squealing and laughing. Johanna had never had so much fun in her life.

After the pillow fight, Johanna and Mrs. Lovett laid down next to each other, exhausted.

"I always wanted to do that," laughed Johanna.

"What? Have a pillow fight?" asked Mrs. Lovett, amused.

"Yes," smiled Johanna. "But I never had anyone else to play with and it wasn't agreeable to be loud while Turpin was around anyway. So I never did."

"You can play with me," grinned Mrs. Lovett. "You can be as loud as you like, Love- I won't mind…" She grinned, and pushed herself up against Johanna again, leaning her back into the same position they'd been in before Annie's visit yesterday. Johanna giggled. She liked where this was going.

"Always had a fondness for you, I did…"

**So that's chapter seven! As always, please, please read and review. There shall be one final chapter, and yes, this one actually will be chock full of femmeslash. I promise. No tricks, no loopholes. ******** Hope you enjoyed this chapter, darlings, I'll be back soon with the final instalment of "If I Cannot Fly"!**

**Beebee xxx**


	8. Reader's Choice :P

**Hello once again, lovely readers and Sweeney Todd fans! This is the last chapter of "If I Cannot Fly," and those of you who have been paying attention will recall that I have been promising you hot, graphic femmeslash right through this entire story. Seeing as this is the last chapter, I think the time has now come. Ladies and gentlemen, get ready for Mrs Lovett/Johanna Fanfic! As always, thank you to my lovely reviewers, your comments mean the world to me, and look out for more fanfics by me if you liked this one, I'm sure there'll be many more to come yet! I love you all, thank you for reading this… This chapter is dedicated to my best girls, grapenut01 who reads and reviews lots and who is just a star, and sexy little Twitchette, my bestest-best friend, who is honest and awesome and twisted and downright scary. In a really cool way, mind… (Love you, don't hurt me!)**

**The last chapter:**

**Femmeslash, plain and simple. We left Johanna and Mrs. Lovett in a steamy position, now it's time for all the gory details. The girls' happily ever after.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sweeney Todd, or any related characters. Parts of this story are my own, but none of the lyrics have been, and only Annie is my character. Okay, now that I don't have to type this heart-wrenching stuff anymore, shall we get on to the part you lovely, twisted people have been waiting for since the start? (Hey, no offence. I'm writing the damn thing!)**

Johanna giggled nervously as Mrs. Lovett leaned right over her, pinning her down on the mattress. The girls shared an affectionate glance, before Johanna worked her arms free of Mrs. Lovett's restraint, and wrapped them around the baker's head, pulling her down so that their mouths could meet. The kiss was hot and heavy and intense, and Johanna felt herself growing a little wetter for every second that went by. She'd never imagined she could feel like this, to want a person so badly… She moaned gently, as Mrs. Lovett broke away from her mouth, and began to trail soft kisses up from her mouth to her earlobe, biting and sucking it softly, then pushing her tongue gently into Johanna's ear. Johanna squirmed with desire, and whimpered the older woman's name.

"Nellie…"

Mrs. Lovett had pulled away from her ear and was trailing kisses again, this time down her soft cheek and over her neck, putting her tongue out a little to lick the soft skin there. Johanna found herself writhing with pleasure again, and bit down hard on her lip to stop herself from making a noise. A little sound escaped anyway, a kind of a strangled, high pitched squeak, and Nellie smiled from the pleasure that came with knowing she was making Johanna feel good, better than she'd ever felt before... She untied the ribbon at the top of the girl's nightgown and- Johanna realised with a shudder of pleasure what she was doing- lifted it over the girl's head. She lie underneath Mrs. Lovett, blushing sweetly at the exposed feeling, but she liking it immensely. She'd only been wearing her night undergarments underneath it, thin strips of material which covered her breasts and the area from her hips to the tops of her legs, hiding her modesty. Mrs. Lovett looked appraisingly at her as she crossed her arms and tugged at the bottom of her own nightdress, lifting it up over her head. Johanna was surprised and a little embarrassed to see that Mrs. Lovett had not been wearing any form of undergarments underneath her nightclothes, and she flushed a little more as Mrs. Lovett settled next to her again, wanting to look but not feeling it was the proper thing to do. Mrs. Lovett noticed her hesitation and smiled warmly at her.

"It's okay, Johanna…" Johanna was convinced by the look of intense love and comfort that Nellie was giving her, so she propped herself up on one elbow, and looked, shyly at first but growing more comfortable as she became accustomed to the fact that there was a naked woman lying next to her. She found that there were tiny, sweet spasms shooting through her as she let her eyes roam over Mrs. Lovett's sweet face, over her neck, her shoulders, her breasts… (Johanna gulped a little here)… her stomach, flat and toned, her tiny waist, her hips, the dark curls between her legs (Johanna blushed again), her firm thighs, her calves, her feet curled around each other… More than anything, she wanted to reach out and touch her.

As though reading her mind, Mrs Lovett edged towards her and took her hand, placing it on the top of her chest, just below her neck. Johanna held her gaze and let her hand slide slowly down… until her hand came to rest, cupped over Mrs. Lovett's full white breast. Mrs. Lovett looked up at her under her eyelashes, and smiled naughtily, as Johanna nervously began to move her fingers, making them crawl and pinch and massage and press… She was relieved and excited to see that what she was doing to the other woman was making her bite down hard on her bottom lip to stop herself from making noise. She'd been so afraid that she wouldn't know what to do, how to make Mrs. Lovett feel good… The relief was intense, and she gained a little confidence with every satisfied sound that Nellie made.

Mrs Lovett, meanwhile, was surprised and pleased that Johanna seemed to know instinctively what she wanted. She'd been thinking much the same thing- would Johanna be too nervous or embarrassed or frightened of this kind of thing? But no, she seemed to finally be relaxing, unlike Nellie herself was able to do. Her entire body was shaking and she was unable to stop soft groans escaping from her lips, as Johanna's slim fingers worked. She reached around the girl's back with trembling hands, undid the material wrapped around her chest at the back, and pulling it away. Johanna was beautiful, there was no denying it. Her skin was pale and soft and creamy, and perfect, hard pink nipples quivered on her breasts as she struggled to keep her breathing normal. Mrs. Lovett wanted to be naked with her, wanted to run her fingers all over her body… As Johanna softly mewed her name, she hooked her fingers over the slip of fabric around Johanna's small waist, and slid them down her thighs. Johanna responded by moving a hand away from Mrs. Lovett for a moment, just to slide them down over her knees and then carelessly kick them off when they reached her ankles.

Johanna slid down Mrs. Lovett's body a little, so that her mouth was level with the woman's breasts, and thought again how good this felt, how romantic and right as she gently pressed her lips to the hard bullet of flesh that was Mrs. Lovett's nipple. She moved her lips carefully against it, twirling her tongue over the hot skin as Mrs. Lovett moaned her name.

"Johanna… God, Johanna…"

Johanna jumped as Mrs. Lovett's hand unexpectedly began to slide downwards and inwards from where she had let it rest, on her waist. Her breathing quickened with nerves and slight fear, until she realised that Mrs. Lovett would be gentle. Mrs. Lovett wouldn't hurt her. She gasped as Mrs. Lovett's tickling fingers brushed through her pubic hair, and couldn't help but spread her legs with want as the curious fingers slid still lower… Johanna let out a strangled cry as Mrs. Lovett's fingers found her, and slipped inside. There was pain, Johanna registered, but not bad, and the way Nellie was twisting her fingers inside her, manipulating her made pleasure far outweigh pain. The circles built and stacked, each contraction becoming stronger than the last, until Johanna, striving for breath, thought that surely she would explode soon enough. Mrs. Lovett noticed the ragged pattern of the girl's breathing, and thrust her fingers up into Johanna hard for the last time. Johanna quivered on the climax, helpless, as waves of pleasure washed over her. Her breath was gone, and all she could do was tremble and gasp, as Mrs. Lovett watched with amusement.

When she could speak again, she whispered to Mrs. Lovett.

"Thank you."

"You're very welcome, love," laughed Mrs. Lovett, very pleased she'd apparently given Johanna her first orgasm. She was alarmed to feel Johanna's hand appear on her thigh and slide downwards, as Johanna wriggled down the bed. Mrs. Lovett realised what the girl was doing, and with a giggle, opened her legs enough for Johanna to settle comfortably between them. It wasn't long before she felt the girl's slick tongue running over that place between her legs…

Mrs. Lovett shook a little as Johanna ran her tongue over her. It felt so nice, so good, so _right_. She wrapped her legs around the girl's shoulders and rocked towards her, gasping as Johanna slid her tongue inside Mrs. Lovett.

"Johanna," she couldn't help but cry. Johanna was spurred on by Mrs Lovett's shouts of pleasure, and moved her tongue faster and faster each time, until it was Mrs Lovett's turn to stiffen and buck as she rode out her orgasm…

The girls curled around each other and let their breathing return to normal in silence. Mrs. Lovett was sweating and trembling, and Johanna was in no better state, but both were grinning fit to burst.

***

When Johanna had completely recovered, she turned to Mrs. Lovett and stroked her cheek softly.

"I can really stay?"  
"You can, love," confirmed Mrs. Lovett, smiling.

"I love you," purred Johanna, snuggling into Nellie.

"I love you too, darlin'"

"What will people say, though?"

"Who cares?" laughed Mrs. Lovett. "It's not like we'll be broadcasting it, love. Everything's gonna be okay now. I'm gonna take care of you."

Johanna smiled softly and slipped into dreams. She was a linnet bird caught in a small cage, desperate to escape. Mrs. Lovett walked towards the cage and opened the door, and Johanna flew out, into the big wide world.

The End

**So there you are darlings, and so concludes this fanfic! Be sure to check out "Mrs. Lovett's Lesson", my new fanfic, if you liked this. Thank you so much to all my reviewers, and any new people reading now: I still love to hear reviews even if it's months after this has been finished, so don't hesitate on letting me know what you think! Love to everyone who read this. You are all brilliant. Helena Loves You. (She loves me more though.)**

**Beebee x x x x x x**


	9. Notice and Love

**Hello all! You'll notice I haven't been on fanfic for a while... My computer basically broke but I have a new laptop now so I'm hoping to be able to start posting again very soon! I'd like to say thank you so much to everyone who alerted, favourite and especially commented on my stories! I love all of you!**

**I'd also like to say that I'm open to suggestions. If you have an idea about where a story could go or have any special requests for stories I'd be happy to give them a shot. I say this because I know how frustrating it is when you can't find a certain pairing, hence me writing Lovett/ Johanna, Lucy/Pirelli, Sweeney/Pirelli instead of the more common pairings. **

**Love to everyone and feel free to post to me at any time with comments and suggestions.**

**And thanks for reading this fic!**

**Beebee xxxxxxxxxxx**


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